When is the last time you ate some veggies? I aint talking about tempura
style. But I would love to smear you in tempura batter and flash fry you.
Then nibble on you all night. I don’t care much for soy sauce, maybe ill dip
you in some duck sauce? Call me: 323.669.8819

Remember when you used to play musical chairs in school? I heard a rumor
about you – you were about to win your schools musical chair championship
and your favorite song was playing (I wont embarrass you with naming what
that is) and you sat on the chair and it broke! Disqualified! You out! But
you are never out with me. Call me: 323.669.8819

T- you might not know this, but you were talking in your sleep last night.
Something about a 2 for 1 special on value packs of Hostess Cakes – all
varieties. I don’t know if the sale was real or just a dream. Baby, I’ll buy
you all the hostess you can eat. Back to the dream, do you know you drool
when you sleep? I guess you probably do, that’s why you have plastic sheets.
Call me: 323.669.8819

Hey – the grass in my back yard keeps getting more and more dead – cuz I have two female dogs – and their pee-pee kills stuff. When we start dating am I going to have the same issues with you? Or you are house trained? Some how I doubt it – CALL ME: 323-669-8819

I promise I will always put the toilet seat down for you. Promise cross my heart, stick a needle in eye and all that stuff. Get your ass over here. I’ve picked up worse hitch hikers. “Call me” 323.6698819

When’s the last time you washed your face? You looking sort of oily… Maybe you should see a dermatologist. I still want you. Call me: 323.669.8819

Have you ever tried deep fried pizza? Who am I kidding, I bet you have fried everything you can get your little ewok hands on. Now come get those ewok hands on me… Call me: 323.669.8819

YO T! I think I knew this guy:

Unfortunately, regardless of what we’d like to believe, stalking still happens. A high school girl was recently approached at school by a man who crossed borders and travelled hours to find her.

For one 16 year-old girl, her long-time WoW guildmate began to stalk her. The female college student she had been hanging around with in a virtual world for months, chatting about fashion and parties, turned out to be a 20 year-old Canadian male.

She met him face-to-face when he showed up at her high school, claiming to be her guildmate’s best friend. Armed with odd gifts like a set of his car keys and a The OC DVD box set, he showed her some photos of her guildie that she’d recognize, and asked her to lunch.

It became apparent very quickly that something was very wrong. His behavior was strange; he not only offered her a new laptop computer, but he also hung around the school parking lot for hours, claiming he didn’t know how he would get back home.

Luckily, the girl and her friends had the presence of mind to inform school officials. The local deputy uncovered that although the man knew the woman, Vera, whose identity he had virtually assumed, she did not know that he had been posing as her, even using her photos, on both MySpace and WoW. In his car the police found several bottles of hard liquor.

Although I have read similar stories, this one has a bizarre ring to it, as if the man is perhaps more unstable and obsessed than downright predatory. One thing that really struck me was that he was only twenty years old, a detail I must have missed during my first read, and one that genuinely surprised me. That is an age where, if he had been struck by a drunk driver, or diagnosed with cancer, people would be referring to him as practically a kid.

CALL ME: 323.669.8819

Dear Amy,

What a wonderful beginning to a new year! It began late in the previous year
– me finding you, chatting online, confessing my love, and then it happens
all over again. The feelings that I’ve felt for you all along begin to
resurface. Only this time, I am free to act on them without fear of
upsetting anyone.

Thank you, Amy. What more can a man say to the woman who opened her heart to
him, allowing him to feel the warmth of her love across the great distance
that separates them? You truly have no idea what I feel for you.

T: Call me: 323.669.8819

Are your parents Hippies? What the fuck is a Topanga? I hate hippies. I hate tie-dye, I hate incense, I hate the grateful dead, stoners, bong culture, just take some pills and feel loopy. Call me: 323.669.8819