ALF : I really enjoy you on that show where they have all those mistakes and foul-ups!
Ed McMahon : Oh, you mean “Bloopers and Practical Jokes”?
ALF : No, “Star Search”!!! HA, HA, HA!!!

(ALF has a sock on his hand and he is talking to it because he thinks he has no friends)
ALF: Well, what do you want to do Mr. Ginzberg? Play charades? Watch a movie? Go to a sock hop!? HA! HA! HA!

Willie : Well, ALF, while we’re gone I trust you won’t be getting into any mischeif.
ALF : You do?
Willie : Not really, but we gotta go.

Willie : I’m going to take a shower now.
ALF : Count me in!

Willie : There’s more than one way to skin a cat.
ALF : You’ve been looking at my recipe book.

Kate : ALF, you can use the portable TV in the bedroom.
ALF : But it’s too small! It makes everyone look like John Candy!

Willie : You got me in a panic to tell me the TV’s broken?!
ALF : Sorry, but I began to panic when I missed “Gumby.”

Jake : What are you anyway?
ALF : I´m an alien, from the planet Melmac. I have powers you can only dream of.
Jake : Like what?
ALF : Aaamm … I can watch 10 hours of tv, without ever getting up to go to the bathroom.

ALF : Justice will not rest!
Kate : What if I gave justice a cookie?
ALF : Justice will think about it.

“Trust me, I’ll have her running trough the streets screaming your name! If the cop’s don’t pick her up, she´ll be yours!” -Alf