Holy Shit!  My boy Chad got the Swine Flu and he is sick as a motherfucker.  I think he got it from licking the table at Hooters that night we dared him to lick the table at Hooters.  So he’s been complaining about feeling sick and we’ve been all like “Shut up wuss!” and he’s been all like “No really I don’t feel good.”  and then I was like “Don’t be a chad because you know we have that beer pong tournament tonight and you’re my partner because those glasses give you ninja-vision.” And he’s all like “OK bro.  OK.”

So jump to 6 hours later and we’ve been knocked out of the tourney because pussy lips thinks he has the Swine Flu and I’m all like “How the fuck could you have the Swine Flu and still drink like a case of Beast Ice?” And then he just fucking EXPLODES with vomit.   Priceless.

- T-Bag Jones