Seriously…. You need me. What better do you have? I am far from the coolest guy, but I could make your stock go up. It’s fair cuz you will be helping something else go up. Ring me anytime: 3236698819

Don’t bring no meat products up in this JOINT! They will kill you. It’s some all-you-can-eat joint in Monterey Park. Simon found it. We discovered two really good things. What were they, you ask. I am not going to tell you. You gotta eat the crap to win the prize. They even have veggie pigeon up in here! I ain’t joshin’ ya.

You seen it all before, but here’s some more proof. Some baked goodness and artichokes. How often do you need to buy a new mattress? I keep seeing ads on TV that say every six years…

My friend Dave sent me this:

I know how you have a fondness of little people. So I wanted to show you this Polaroid portrait I took in an alley of a gangster midget posing with her fried chicken.Hope you like it.

-Dave

Photo credit: Dave Schubert…

Guess how many scoops I ate, win a prize.

Miss T, you remember my friend Dee that climbed your wall that day and tried to break in while you were in the shower? What? You ask, Dee who? Deeeeeeeeez Nutz. I just got you with a Deez Nutzzz joke. You suck. Call me. 3236698819

By SEAN MURPHY (AP)

OKLAHOMA CITY — Whoever killed a pastor inside her small Oklahoma church “staged” the body, authorities said Thursday, meaning it was moved into an unnatural position after the slaying.

Police would not elaborate, however, on how the body of 61-year-old Carol Daniels was positioned inside the Christ Holy Sanctified Church in Anadarko. Authorities have said they are not ruling out the possibility that the killer specifically targeted a pastor or a church.

Investigators are also reviewing video surveillance tapes from a nearby convenience store for clues in the brutal killing, said Jessica Brown, a spokeswoman for the Oklahoma State Bureau of Investigation. A preliminary autopsy found Daniels died of “multiple sharp force injuries,” and a veteran local prosecutor described the crime scene as “the most horrific” he’s ever witnessed.

Brown said that on the video, Daniels’ car can be seen pulling up to the church about 10 a.m. Sunday. She declined to say whether any suspect was seen.

“The most they’ve gleaned from the tape so far is to give them a timeline of when she arrived,” Brown said.

A visitor who arrived at the church shortly before noon saw Daniels’ car but found the door to the church locked, District Attorney Bret Burns said Thursday. The person walked to the nearby Anadarko police station and notified officers, who discovered Daniels’ body. Burns did not identify the visitor.

Law enforcement officials have been tightlipped about details of the crime or a possible motive, but met with pastors in Anadarko on Wednesday and warned them to take security precautions at their buildings. Burns did not say why the meeting was just with clergy, or what kind of a threat they might face.

Jack Levin, a professor of sociology and criminology at Northeastern University in Boston, said the fact that Daniels’ body was staged is highly unusual and generally indicates that a killer is seeking attention.

“The killer wants the notoriety,” Levin said. “He knows that by staging the victim’s body, that it will freak out a population of people, terrify them.”

Levin, who has written several books on serial killings, murder and hate crimes, also said posing bodies is a ritualistic “signature” that can be used to connect several crimes to a single perpetrator.

“The killer poses the bodies because he wants credit,” Levin said. “He intends to do it again and wants credit for what he’s done.”

Daniels, who lived in Oklahoma City, made the 60-mile drive to Anadarko every week even though the small, weather-beaten church had no regular congregation.

Her family did not respond to requests for comment on Thursday, but her mother, Charlesetta Dunlap, has described Daniels as a dedicated pastor who felt directed by God to travel to the small church.

The Oklahoma State Bureau of Investigation is offering a $10,000 reward for information leading to an arrest and conviction in the case.